Many people are easily amused.
Of course, then it occurred to me that you could refer to Luke Skywalker as a space cowboy.
If Steve Miller hadn't already claimed that title in the mid '70s:
Um, Mr. Miller, did that feather fall out of the Indian's headdress?
I got a text from my oldest son this morning - "I got a new tattoo last night".
Ruh-roh! Having been able to resist the temptation to use my own skin as a canvas for nearly half a century, this was not good news. I didn't text - I called him.
No answer.
About half a minute later, the chime of an incoming message on my phone, a picture message:
The Tattoo
R-e-l-i-e-f! Yes, he had sandbagged me. And of course I like the 'tattoo'.
I have a membership on one of the free dating services. Every few days I get an email telling me they have new matches, women I'm sure to hit it off with.
Yeah, whatever.
So, of course, like an idiot I click to see what women match my interests. After all, with all that money I'm going to be getting any day now from Nigeria, the ladies are going to find me irresistible. And, thanks to my bon vivant Renaissance man charm and wide range of interests, I may as well indulge myself by choosing a different woman for each day of the week.
Typically, about two dozen, more or less normal looking women within the age range I'd specified, which is to say within a few years of my own age, populate the potential match section. I read their profiles. A few even sound halfway interesting. Then I glance over to the margin: "College Women Looking for 50 Year-Old Men With Children!".
Of course! I had forgotten entirely that hot, twenty-something women, with nary a spare ounce of fat, and the best fun parts money can buy, are totally turned on by late forty-ish dudes with kiddos.
I click the link on the nubile chick's picture, and am immediately re-directed to some near pornographic, not free "dating" site. Um, thanks, but, uh, no thanks.
I think that dating site's run by Nigerians...
So, for now, only one claw foot bathtub overlooking the lake. Room service can keep their little blue pills.
6 comments:
Why oh why did the little blue pill pushers think the image of two people sitting side by side in bath tubs in the great outdoors would entice my age demographic? It irritates me.
I have resisted the Nigerian's subliminal messages to join their site but I admit I have clicked and looked to see which fish are floating at the top of my search criteria pool.
I have friends who've used the online dating thing and have seen pictures of some of the folks who've shown interest in my friends. As bad as the profile picture looks, you gotta remember, it's the picture they think makes them look the best. Two lines that always make me shake my head.
1. "A woman's looks are important even though I'm not just looking for sex but sex needs to be a big part of any relationship I'm in." This line is usually thrown down by a fat balding guy who probably has a new prescription of Viagra.
2. "I'm only interested in men who're financially successful and can afford to date me." I can't help but think she's looking for a meal-ticket.
I feel bad for anyone who's 40+ and finds themselves as part of the dating scene.
Your search for a match sounds oddly similiar to my single female friend....hey maybe??? Just thinking out loud...
Uh, "Mbt shoes??" Dude, you've been spammed. ;)
Donald, I echo Prop'y = my sympathies on EVER having to reenter the dating scene. [Blech] x's a thousand. I hated it back when I was a "nubile twenty-something." Beat-down. Hang in there though....my Grandma always said to scope out the fresh produce section at the grocery store. Didn't work for me, but maybe the lettuce bin'll be a score for you my Friend.
And hey, don't be railin' on the tattoos, man! lol Although, I will admit that I'll never, ever understand the tattoo behind the ear, the back of the neck, the legs or forearms (on women). On men? Tattoos are just kinda cool...testosterone/hunky/manly, I suppose. The S.U. looked around seeing the BEVY of tattoos in HI and outwardly grimaced knowing I was sporting my "feathers" nearby. lol
Nigerians drive me nuts. In my mailbox daily.
Hate the Blue Pill commercials.
Yeah, that makes about the 5th spam comment I've removed from posts in the last week - all the same comment about some kind of shoes.
The lettuce bin at the grocery?
Maybe. 'Cause I'm probably past the point where I can use the Animal House approach at the cucumber bin. Sigh. ;-)
Wasn't totally raggin' on the ink - it's just not my deal. And I wouldn't be too keen about it for my 17 year old. If he wants to do that later in life...well, that's up to him.
I liked the Levitra commercials, with the guy throwing the football through the tire swing. Thought they were hilarious. My wife [at the time] was totally oblivious to the metaphor.
Double sigh.
Since the new "Spam Filter" was installed I've had several.
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