Well, apparently my ship has finally arrived, as I've been notified by the First Lady that I'm due US $22M (even though we had not previously been active pen pals):
FROM MRS. MICHELLE OBAMA, LAST NOTICE
How are you today?
I am Mrs. Michelle Obama and I am written to inform you about your Bank Cheque Draft brought by the United Embassy from the government of Benin Republic in the white house Washington DC which contains the sum of $22.000.000 millions us dollars credited from the bank of America, the delivery of your funds has been mandated to be deliver to your address on Friday being october 7TH of September 2015 to you as soon as you get back to me with your home address and your cell phone number.
Bear in mind that I have taking my time to be in charge of your funds as instructed by my husband to ensure that you received your funds successfully from the white house to reduce the economy and I’m the only one that has your funds in regard to my husband Mr. Barack Hussein Obama II and you will have to pay the sum of $500.00 only before your Bank Cheque Draft will deliver to you on Friday, the reason why the fee is required is to have your funds clearance paper from the origin of the funds to avoid any harassment from the authority and you are also expecting to be announce as winner of the said amount by Friday as soon as your fund is delivered to you.
So you are urgent advised to get back to me with your home address and also the payment information today for immediate effect of your delivery. Note that the $500 is the only fee and final payment you have my assurance.
However, according to our agreement with the originated Benin Republic, all our communications should be on email for record purpose so follow my instruction accordingly, even if you don’t have the $500 try to borrow it and send it immediately because this is your life opportunity and I don’t want you to lose the chance any more.
Please I will advice you to urgent make the payment this morning via western union or money gram money transfer to the listed cashier information as instructed you by the originated authority. I will look forward to received your email today with the payment to enable the origin secure the required clearance papers required at White House Benin to deliver your funds. Note that it will take only 14hrs to deliver your Bank Cheque Draft in receipt of the $500 payment.
Please find the payment data below to send the $500via western union or money gram.
Country Benin Republic
MTCN reference number............
I look forward to your respond to your email with the payment today.
Mrs. Michelle Obama
The White House
(Official Residence of the President of the US)
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500 USA
Sounds legit, right? And as soon as the USPS gets me that fresh batch of Republic of Texas money orders, I'm gonna claim my fortune.