Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Hawking Says Aliens Are Dangerous

Famed British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking says that aliens likely exist, and, unlike Eliott's bike riding buddy ET, may not be friendly.

Well, duh!

On the other hand, Don Henley says They're Not Here, They're Not Coming¹.

As you know, I'm a huge fan of Henley's, but from a scientific standpoint, I might have to give the edge to Dr. Hawking.  Maybe Henley's not really denying the existence of the little green dudes, but just saying that if they're really outfitted with higher intelligence, they could find a much more hospitable host planet.

¹ From the CD, Inside Job, 2000

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Ladies, in case ya got a dirty cowboy

Fer the right cowgirl I reckon I might be willin' to check myself in for a short spell... 
Wonder if they got them 5¢ bathtubs, side by side, like in them Cialis commercials?

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Later, Dude, I gotta catch another flight...

May have been just the camera angle, but the part with the helicopter was just crazy stupid.

h/t: "That Dude"

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Right Turn, Clyde

This morning after hearing the great Nuge interview with WBAP's Hal Jay, I was listening to Jody Dean, and learned of the newest craze sweeping southeast Asia: Orangutan Kick-Boxing.

Kick-boxing orangutans at a theme park in Bangkok, Thailand - Telegraph

I'm not sure I'd have much interest in watching primates fight, but I guess it'd be infinitely superior to watching monkeys spank each other...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Home Cleaning

I am the world's worst housekeeper.  Oh sure, I can do the laundry and run the dishwasher, scrub the toilets periodically, and even run the vacuum every now and then, but I am terrible when it comes to sorting, organizing, and throwing out useless papers and mail, or putting away tools and materials after a project.  So, stuff tends to pile up on the coffee table, dining table, kitchen counters, etc.  I also have to work hard to remember to mop the floors, which unfortunately catch all manner of spills and such.

Well, now comes along a cleaning solution so simple it's a wonder I hadn't heard of it before.


I don't know that vodka can help with the sorting and organizing, (and actually I seriously doubt that it performs any differently than a much cheaper bottle of 70% isopropyl alcohol would do), but maybe there's hope  for research in this area.  A bit of Clamato® and horseradish, I could possibly do some serious clean up.

Za Vas, komrades!

Speed, Part II

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned the reported increase in traffic citations as a means for governments to raise cash as property values and sales tax receipts recede.

Well, boys and girls, now comes word that some localities are imposing a "crash tax" on participants in fender benders, to partially offset costs associated with providing emergency response services.  The charge may presumably be levied irrespective of one's culpability in an accident.  According to a post on AutoBlog: "Illinois lawmakers are even considering legislation that would allow municipalities to bill up to $250-per-hour for emergency services that are already funded in part by taxes. It's also being considered in some California towns."

That Illinois and Kal-i-for-nia would consider such schemes, considering their budget and political proclivities, does not surprise.  However, it should be noted that the Lone Star State apparently has no provision to prevent such a practice.

So, as noted before, to protect yourself financially, don't speed.  And to protect yourself physically as well as financially, don't crash.

I predict that we are going to see many things we'd never have imagined as government spending continues its out-of-control spiral.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

An Optical Illusion

I don't know why this is, but possibly reader D², who knows how to write a program to create fractals, can explain why these concentric circles appear to be a spiral:

h/t: "That Dude"

Edit: Has anyone seen my Spirograph™?

Don't Speed

I heard a report on the radio, or read an article the other day stating that due to the state of the economy, law enforcement agencies (municipal, county, or state) are dialing back their tolerance for traffic infractions as a means to raise additional revenue.

While I don't have any statistical evidence to show this is true, my anecdotal (yet empirical) observations over the past couple of days suggests there is validity to the report.

Yesterday, on I-20 between Willow Park and the Millsap exit, I saw 5 DPS cruisers with motorists pulled over (2 were big rigs).  Today, on 377, Keller motor jockeys had northbound and southbound cars stopped, about a quarter-mile apart.  And on Jacksboro Highway, Azle has a couple of "your speed is" signs that look to be the precursors of a clampdown.

It could all be coincidence, but, as agencies look for ways to raise cash, it's sure tempting for them to look at speeders as easy marks. 

After all, most drivers don't have good lobbyists.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Truth, it's good for the soul

"Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!"

- Sir Walter Scott, from Marmion, circa 1810

"I will not lie,
 I will not lie for you

It's only right for me to tell you
When it's the wrong thing to do
It's only right that you should know
If he comes to me
I will not lie for you
No, I won't lie for you

Mama, I won't lie for you

Little girl, I won't lie for you
No, I won't lie to him for you

I will not lie for you"

- James Taylor, excerpted, 1979

Let us consider John Moses Browning's crowning achievement

OK, this post is apropos to nothing - I just noticed that I had a picture of #1 son from a couple of weeks ago, demonstrating fine shooting skills with Mr. Browning's creation (the Colt 1911 .45ACP, for unenlightened minds, regarding firearms at least).  He is also proficient with the Ruger P-90, DA & SA .357s, and a wide variety of .22s, both semi-auto and revolvers.

Where are they now?

Remember them woodsy fellers what done Ned Beatty wrong in Deliverance?

Looks like they invested their movie profits and bought themselves a high-tone housing development out by the lake:

You would do this because...?

I know when I was in high school, it was common for the kids at the public schools to "borrow" the Kip's Big Boy, or the Bonanza steakhouse steer as a prank for Homecoming or somesuch.

I'm just not sure why would you put one on your own carport/loafing shed?

Yes, way!

I still can't help thinking this place was named by an 8th grader, or a Saturday Night Live writer.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Gilligan's Islands

By now everyone has undoubtedly viewed the video clip of U.S. Representative Hank Johnson of DeKalb County, Georgia, speculating in an Armed Forces hearing that additional U.S. military personnel on the island of Guam might lead to its tipping over and capsizing.

So, as a Public Service Announcement, owing mainly to the deep reverence I hold for the institution of the United States Congress and its members, let me issue a Traveler's Advisory Warning to those who might be inclined this Spring or Summer to travel to the following islands, all as small or smaller than Guam:
  • Kahoʻolawe (Hawaii)
  • Lānaʻi (Hawaii)
  • Niʻihau (Hawaii)
  • Alcatraz
  • Ellis Island
  • Galveston Island
  • Mustang Island
  • Padre Island
  • Goat Island
Travel advisories are not anticipated at this time for the following:
  • Australia
  • New Zealand
  • Antarctica
  • Hawaiʻi
  • Maui
  • Oʻahu
If travel to Molokaʻi is planned, please check in advance for possible warnings, as it is only about 25% larger than Guam and may be on the "at risk" list.  The same advice applies to the island that Tom Hanks was stranded on in Castaway, size unknown.

Lastly, if anyone has booked a trip to Fantasy Island, please be sure to say hello to Representative Hank Johnson on your arrival.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Barry who should have been President

I was looking up a quote on the internet and came across a gem.  In full disclosure, I was looking for the "extremism in defense of liberty" quote, but saw this one.  Have a look:

I have little interest in streamlining government or in making it more efficient, for I mean to reduce its size. I do not undertake to promote welfare, for I propose to extend freedom. My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them. It is not to inaugurate new programs, but to cancel old ones that do violence to the Constitution or that have failed their purpose, or that impose on the people an unwarranted financial burden. I will not attempt to discover whether legislation is "needed" before I have first determined whether it is constitutionally permissible. And if I should later be attacked for neglecting my constituents "interests," I shall reply that I was informed that their main interest is liberty and that in that cause I am doing the very best I can.

Conscience of a Conservative, 1960, Barry Morris Goldwater