Wait, um, oh that's k. d. lang. Nevermind...
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Greatest...Ever Devised
On these pages I have already expressed my interest in motorcycles & firearms. Those of you who know me know that, like Paul Harvey, I want to know 'the rest of the story', and will sometimes go to great lengths to research (read: waste a lot of time on) a subject.
I have already shared information on John Taliaferro Thompson, creator of the 'Tommy Gun' sub-machine gun. Others in the pantheon of firearms designers that I should also research and share would no doubt include Sam Colt, Leonard Geiger, Dr. Richard J. Gatling, B. Tyler Henry, Daniel Wesson, Erskine Allin, Fordyce Beals, John Marlin, John Moses Browning, and Bill Ruger.
I have already shared information on John Taliaferro Thompson, creator of the 'Tommy Gun' sub-machine gun. Others in the pantheon of firearms designers that I should also research and share would no doubt include Sam Colt, Leonard Geiger, Dr. Richard J. Gatling, B. Tyler Henry, Daniel Wesson, Erskine Allin, Fordyce Beals, John Marlin, John Moses Browning, and Bill Ruger.
But today's segment is about John C. Garand, father of the Garand rifle, which Gen. George S. Patton once termed "The Greatest Battle Implement Ever Devised", and was crucial to the U.S. infantrymen in WWII. Despite the great success and accolades of his invention, he never received any royalties for his design.
Inventions come and go, but great designs are truly timeless...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Please Forgive The Lady of the Harbor
John 11:35 states simply: Jesus wept.
At 10:00 p.m. central standard time, November 4, 2008, Lady Liberty wept.
At 10:00 p.m. central standard time, November 4, 2008, Lady Liberty wept.
More Stuff I Didn't Write
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
‘Welcome to heaven,’ says St. Peter. ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around here, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.’
‘No problem, just let me in,’ says the senator.
‘Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.’
‘Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,’says the senator.
‘I’m sorry, but we have our rules.’
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises ..
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
‘Now it’s time to visit heaven.’
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
‘Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.’
The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: ‘Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.’
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above… The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
‘I don’t understand,’ stammers the senator. ‘Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?’
The devil looks at him, smiles and says…….
‘Yesterday we were campaigning.'
Today you voted.
A parable, perhaps?
h/t: Aprilwine
‘Welcome to heaven,’ says St. Peter. ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around here, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.’
‘No problem, just let me in,’ says the senator.
‘Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.’
‘Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,’says the senator.
‘I’m sorry, but we have our rules.’
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises ..
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
‘Now it’s time to visit heaven.’
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
‘Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.’
The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: ‘Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.’
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above… The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
‘I don’t understand,’ stammers the senator. ‘Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?’
The devil looks at him, smiles and says…….
‘Yesterday we were campaigning.'
Today you voted.
A parable, perhaps?
h/t: Aprilwine
This Looks Bad
A few election cycles back, a bit of an uproar resulted when some idiot on a college campus thought it germane to ask Slick Willie if he preferred 'boxers or briefs'. Soon, politicians everywhere were being asked their undergarment predispositions.
Thankfully, that particular bit of useless knowledge has been absent from this election, albeit replaced by a bevy of banal bits of likewise irrelevant information. We are now treated to learning about candidates' clothing styles, automobiles, and musical tastes - the subject of this post.
Last night, I took the bait and read what Obama's & McCain's top ten songs were, presumably on their iPods (does John McCain have an iPod?).
From the looks of it, BHO followed a fairly predictable path (Kanye, Springsteen, Marvin, U2), and seemingly tossed in a couple of selections calculated to broaden his appeal to middle America (Rolling Stones, Sinatra). As I said, some of it appeared contrived, but maybe I'm just being cynical.
Now for the bad part.
John McCain listed his top 10 also. Louis Armstrong. Sinatra. Haggard. Neil Diamond. Beach Boys. ABBA - twice! Whoa there, Maverick! Two of your top 10 songs by ABBA? Mamma Mia, what were you thinking?!
Editorial confession: In the '70s, I had a demo copy of ABBA's greatest hits. A visiting relative purloined it, probably thinking that since I had an after-school job in a record/tape warehouse, I could easily replace it - but I never did.
There's probably a myriad of explanations for the ABBA inclusion. They would've been sort of popular when McCain returned to civilization after 5-1/2 years in the Hanoi Hilton, so maybe they're seared into his consciousness. I hope they weren't included 'to appeal to the young folks', as they are the most recent songs on McCain's list. Nothing from the '80s forward - not even Huey's "Hip to Be Square".
The point, though, isn't what each candidate does or doesn't listen to. It's that in our voracious ADHD appetite for wall to wall programming for a zillion 'information' outlets, we've 'comfortably numbed' ourselves to the trivialization of some of our most sacred processes and responsibilities. Senator Obama has made a career of calculated avoidance of controversy, while at the same time giving glowing oratory - yet in this campaign cycle, we have gotten very little substance from either candidate on a host of issues that really matter to Americans.
We really should demand better from our media and the the candidates.
Also, we should also ask why there are no Eagles songs on their playlists. "Get Over It" would be an excellent campaign song, don't you think?
Thankfully, that particular bit of useless knowledge has been absent from this election, albeit replaced by a bevy of banal bits of likewise irrelevant information. We are now treated to learning about candidates' clothing styles, automobiles, and musical tastes - the subject of this post.
Last night, I took the bait and read what Obama's & McCain's top ten songs were, presumably on their iPods (does John McCain have an iPod?).
From the looks of it, BHO followed a fairly predictable path (Kanye, Springsteen, Marvin, U2), and seemingly tossed in a couple of selections calculated to broaden his appeal to middle America (Rolling Stones, Sinatra). As I said, some of it appeared contrived, but maybe I'm just being cynical.
Now for the bad part.
John McCain listed his top 10 also. Louis Armstrong. Sinatra. Haggard. Neil Diamond. Beach Boys. ABBA - twice! Whoa there, Maverick! Two of your top 10 songs by ABBA? Mamma Mia, what were you thinking?!
Editorial confession: In the '70s, I had a demo copy of ABBA's greatest hits. A visiting relative purloined it, probably thinking that since I had an after-school job in a record/tape warehouse, I could easily replace it - but I never did.
There's probably a myriad of explanations for the ABBA inclusion. They would've been sort of popular when McCain returned to civilization after 5-1/2 years in the Hanoi Hilton, so maybe they're seared into his consciousness. I hope they weren't included 'to appeal to the young folks', as they are the most recent songs on McCain's list. Nothing from the '80s forward - not even Huey's "Hip to Be Square".
The point, though, isn't what each candidate does or doesn't listen to. It's that in our voracious ADHD appetite for wall to wall programming for a zillion 'information' outlets, we've 'comfortably numbed' ourselves to the trivialization of some of our most sacred processes and responsibilities. Senator Obama has made a career of calculated avoidance of controversy, while at the same time giving glowing oratory - yet in this campaign cycle, we have gotten very little substance from either candidate on a host of issues that really matter to Americans.
We really should demand better from our media and the the candidates.
Also, we should also ask why there are no Eagles songs on their playlists. "Get Over It" would be an excellent campaign song, don't you think?
Monday, November 3, 2008
Other Truths, Less Self-Evident
I didn't write any of these, but wish I had...it's a good break from all of the political coverage.
1) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
2) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on I-45. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
3) I used to be bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From then on it was sticks and stones all the way.
4) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department.
5) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
6) I saw six men violently kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
7) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
8) I think animal testing is a terrible idea, inasmuch as they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
9) You know that look women get when they want s*x? No? Me neither.
10) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
11) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
12) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this stuff before.
1) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
2) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on I-45. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
3) I used to be bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From then on it was sticks and stones all the way.
4) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department.
5) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
6) I saw six men violently kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
7) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
8) I think animal testing is a terrible idea, inasmuch as they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
9) You know that look women get when they want s*x? No? Me neither.
10) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
11) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
12) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this stuff before.
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