How to tell if your postman is a munchkin

Well, your mailbox might look like this:

Very punny...

Yeah, I like bad puns:

Real estate crisis? What real estate crisis?

"Parsonages a specialty!"

or at least:

Happy Easter, White Settlers!

Some things defy description:

Thanks, Dude...

For bringing some cooler weather, and rain,  last week:

'Roundhouse Midnight

Yesterday morning, I arrive to work, noticing I have a text from former colleague Shay:

"Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing."

Recognizing the genre, I picked up the gauntlet, responding throughout the day [in between, uh,  important work], with the following, mostly song references:

• CN can check out from AND leave the Hotel California.  Anytime.
• CN messes with Slim AND Leroy Brown.  At the same time.
• CN CAN get satisfaction.  Always.
• CN passed The Point of Know Return, and returned. Twice.
• CN illuminated the Dark Side of the Moon.
• CN swam away from The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.  Wearing hip waders.
• CN completed the Boston Marathon AND the Gumball Rally in seven minutes.  Concurrently. On a unicycle.  Backwards.

In return, Shay responded with several additional entries:

• CN sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
• CN once urinated in the fuel tank of a semi truck as a joke.  Today that truck is known as Optimus Prime.   (I had to look up that reference.)
• CN doesn't have to flush toilets.  He scares the ____ out of them.
• All in all, CN is NOT just another brick in the wall.  (Wonder where he got THAT one?)
• The opening scene of Private Ryan was loosely based on a dodgeball game CN played in 3rd grade.
• CN lost his virginity before his father did.
• "The Most Interesting Man in the World" only has that title because CN was through using it.
• CN's tears cure cancer.  Too bad he's never cried.

Speaking of important work, I had to go to the courthouse yesterday - the one that, until my oldest son was about six years old, we referred to as "Walker's Courthouse" (since it was supposedly where Walker had his office).  Yeah, I had to run about 100 yards back to my colleague's car when I realized I had my penknife with me - one I've carried since about 1996.  No way I'm giving that up.  The security guy said he'd have done the same.

Keepin' it straight...

Bert and Ernie take to the road to dispel rumors that they're gay:

The rumors apparently began from each making statements to media outlets that throughout their careers they had been continually groped from below and behind by the other.  The forty plus year controversy was finally put to rest when the pair were informed that they're puppets.