Wednesday, September 14, 2011

'Roundhouse Midnight

Yesterday morning, I arrive to work, noticing I have a text from former colleague Shay:

"Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing."

Recognizing the genre, I picked up the gauntlet, responding throughout the day [in between, uh,  important work], with the following, mostly song references:
  • CN can check out from AND leave the Hotel California.  Anytime.
  • CN messes with Slim AND Leroy Brown.  At the same time.
  • CN CAN get satisfaction.  Always.
  • CN passed The Point of Know Return, and returned. Twice.
  • CN illuminated the Dark Side of the Moon.
  • CN swam away from The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.  Wearing hip waders.
  • CN completed the Boston Marathon AND the Gumball Rally in seven minutes.  Concurrently. On a unicycle.  Backwards.
In return, Shay responded with several additional entries:
  • CN sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
  • CN once urinated in the fuel tank of a semi truck as a joke.  Today that truck is known as Optimus Prime.   (I had to look up that reference.)
  • CN doesn't have to flush toilets.  He scares the ____ out of them.
  • All in all, CN is NOT just another brick in the wall.  (Wonder where he got THAT one?)
  • The opening scene of Private Ryan was loosely based on a dodgeball game CN played in 3rd grade.
  • CN lost his virginity before his father did.
  • "The Most Interesting Man in the World" only has that title because CN was through using it.
  • CN's tears cure cancer.  Too bad he's never cried.
Speaking of important work, I had to go to the courthouse yesterday - the one that, until my oldest son was about six years old, we referred to as "Walker's Courthouse" (since it was supposedly where Walker had his office).  Yeah, I had to run about 100 yards back to my colleague's car when I realized I had my penknife with me - one I've carried since about 1996.  No way I'm giving that up.  The security guy said he'd have done the same.

    1 comment:

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