Take a trip in the wabac machine

An old friend recently forwarded me an email that lists the signs that you are or are becoming an old codger.

One of the clues was that you sing along to the songs at the supermarket or in the elevator.

Well, just today Daughter and I were in Tuesday Morning looking for an olivewood goblet - didn't find - and heard this song:



Now, my friend who emailed me the list is 11 years older than me.  But she has me pegged - guilty as charged - as she knows I am pretty conversant with the oldies.

Interjections!

Brought to you by Big Lots!:



h/t: John K.

En garde!

Yeah, you thought they were just cute and cuddly little critters scurrying around trying to hide their nuts.

Dating Sux (Monopoly Version)

And now, people out in TV land, it's time to play Dating Sux, a fictionalized game of middle-aged relationships, brought to you by Parker & Gamble.

Here's a little sample:

• You get a text from someone nice you met years ago, after your relationship broke up, asking if you know which church has a good weekend singles group.  Because you had lost that person's phone number two cellphones ago, and wished you hadn't, move ahead two spaces.
• Although your church doesn't have much going on for the pairing-challenged, you respond by telling which church(es) you attend, and what you like about it/them.  Move forward one space.
• You realize that if the person is asking you about singles programs, they must not have married the person they were dating the last couple of times you spoke to them.  Go ahead one space.
• Awhile later, you get a text saying you should get together for a beer at a local burger place - advance two - "as friends" - go back one space.
• Time for a station break - we'll be back in two-and-two.
• We're back.
• You realize you no longer care who, or how many, your ex- sleeps with.  Move ahead three spaces.
• Your person has the same name as your ex - lose two spaces.
• The texter's ex's name is the same as yours.  Don't go back, but skip one turn.  (Look on the bright side, if they address you with the ex's name, you won't notice...or know.)
• The person has the same number of children as you do, of the opposite gender.  Draw and hold "Brady Bunch" card from the special cards pile, even though you may not need it.
• You shrug off the "as friends" qualifier, reasoning that spending some time with the opposite gender is preferable to cuddling with your dog.  And hey, it takes the pressure off to meet any expectations.  Advance one.

Well, folks, looks like we've run out of time for this episode of Dating Sux (Monopoly Version).  Tune in next week to see if our contestants went like james taylor for burgers and beer.

Featuring Leland Sklar on bass (who's anchored music for a veritable Who's Who list of SoCal and Nashville performers) and a nice solo by Rosemary Butler (as a frequent member of Jackson Browne's band and performer with the Doobies, Ronstadt, Raitt - you've heard her on the first refrain of Stay, before David Lindley's falsetto).

Saturday Night Chicago song

...but performed by Bobby Caldwell (one of the co-writers, with Jason Scheff):



Not a bad version at all.

Happy Presidents Day!

Hope y'all had a great Presidents Day.

• Well, now that the Florida fugitive situation has been handled, I returned the theatre props that I was gonna use to scare him to the rental store.
• No, I wasn't going to scare him to the rental store - I mean the props can go back there.
• I spent most of the day puttering around the garage, and semi-organizing one closet.  Also made a little bit of progress on Daughter's chicken house.  

• I've got to get it finished soon as they've now got chicks at the local hardware/feed store.
• Daughter wants 4 or 5 chickens.  I'm thinking three.
• She also wants to name them.  Fine by me - these will be layers, not fryers.
• I hope we don't get tired of our goldfish and dump them in Eagle Mountain Lake or something.

• The emails advertising Vjagra and Cjalis wear me out.
• One-time Beatles' frontman Tony Sheridan has died.
• Yeah, me neither.
• Because I can read your thought bubbles, I knew you were asking "Who?".
• One of those free 'home' magazines that comes in the mailbox - you know, the kind that has all the contractors to create your own Playboy grotto and closets the size of Ward Cleaver's house - has a double page ad for underground shelters.  For nuclear, tornado, pestilence safety.
• I guess I need to step up my prep-ping.

Thursday Tidbits

I read the news - so you don't have to.

• Fox News reports that the asteroid that's fixing to buzz our planet...has been valued at $195 billion.
• By whom?!  Christie's?  Sotheby's?  Tarrant Appraisal District?  Ebay - 'buy it now'?  Who's got that listing?
• Wonder what kind of commission it'll generate?
• Not to be outdone, I understand some entrepreneurial Nevada women have formed a syndicate to buy it and "sell a little piece of asteroid" to as many buyers as possible.
• At the Kroger this afternoon, folks were tripping over each other to buy candy and flowers.
• Not.  Me.

• When I was married, my wife considered flowers and chocolate a waste of money.  She was sensible in that regard.  I think Valentine's Day is silly - being serious for a moment, but just a moment - I think relationships would be a lot better served by being attentive to one another year 'round instead of buying kitschy cr@p on a made-up holiday.

• Yahoo News posts "Hermaphrodite Sea Slug Mates With Throwaway Penis".
• Upon reading the headline, I thought Lorena Bobbitt was on the loose again, but it turns out the Chromodoris reticulata generates a new disposable *member* for each time at bat, and then sheds its package afterwards.
• There's probably a human 'women & men' metaphor to be explored there, but I'm gonna let sleeping dogs lie.
• Who says I'm incapable of exercising good judgement?
• Mayor Bloomberg now wants to ban foam packaging.
• First Big Gulps, then guns, now Dixie Cups.  This guy's off the rails.
• Y'all get the impression that SoCal law enforcement didn't want that former L.A. cop to say anything?
• Swimming against the tide:  Former Illinois Rep. Debbie Halvorson, a Democrat, is running for disgraced Jesse Jackson, Jr.'s Congressional district seat.  Interestingly, Ms. Halvorson is pro-2nd Amendment, and has an A rating from the National Rifle Association.
• Finally, a Democrat with a common sense approach to gun laws. I'm gonna watch Delkus tonight to see if Hell has Frozen Over.  (Mr. Blogger, can I score that as an Eagles/Henley reference?)

• The President supports efforts to discontinue production of the penny.  No fan of the President I, I don't necessarily disagree.  
• But what will my Daughter and I put on the tracks now when the train passes?
• And speaking of the President - who understands the current hoopla about drones?  To the extent we're hunting down the Al-qaedae and Taliban - what's the difference between that and an A-10, F-16, or other aircraft, except that the pilot's sitting safely in a BarcaLounger in Area 51 or at Bagram Air Base?
• Should they start targeting US citizens on American soil, then we have a problem Whitney Houston.  But until and unless that happens, it looks like a Pontiac Tempest in a teapot.  To me.
• The Circus Blogger reports that Crystal's Pizza Palace in Irving is closing.  It was one of my favorite places in high school and college, but in recent years, it's turned into a dump.
• KERA is currently running a documentary about radioactive quack medicines and products from the late 19th and early 20th centuries.
• Can you believe someone manufactured Radium condoms?
• The mind reels with the marketing possibilities.  Probably would give new meaning to doing the 'Neutron Dance', huh?  I could probably think up more, but I shan't.
• Do Brazilian iPhones really run on Android instead of iOS?  Well...
• If Todd the Blogger doesn't get enough delegates in the Pope Primary, I could support Don Novello.
• On Leno the other night, a 57 year old white former high school basketball coach from Kansas sunk/sank more free throws in 30 seconds than Sir Charles Barkley - by more than 2-to-1.
• Florida Fugitive Futility - Night 4!  Where's that convict?:

No laser, but it does have EER and illuminated reticle.

• I read somewhere awhile back that STIs (I guess they're called 'infections' now instead of 'diseases' - who knew?) are prevalent among folks in my age group.  I was concerned, until I learned that, in order to get one, you have to be having sex.
• Hermaphrodite Sea Slugs, which shed their units after hooking up, probably don't get STIs.
• Nuclear Nookie - I know I said I wasn't going to think up any more advertising slogans, but I couldn't resist.
• Actual photo of an STI:

• Tonight's post ran a bit randy, I suppose.
• I'll probably have to deal with the S116 Standards and Practices division.
• The venison sausage also has cheese and jalapeño in it.  Yum!