Saturday, January 2, 2010

Enough already...

I hate "infotainment" news, and I hate lists.

In yet another titillating, tantalizing article about the differences between the sexes, MSN or Esquire publishes a list "27 Things Men Don't Know About Women".

The article quotes an equal number of celebritard bimbos (most of them, anyway) who proffer such profundities as:

  • "We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you'd like to discuss it further, just leave a message." ( - Julie Delpy, whoever that is...) I have found this to be true.

  • "We can tell how good you'll be in bed by how good you are on the dance floor." ( - Leslie Mann, again, no idea who she is...) Whatever...I hope this one's not true.

  • "Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends." ( - Kyra Sedgwick) I like Kyra.

  • "When we fall asleep before the end of the film, it's because we are happy and relaxed, not because we're bored of Live Free or Die Hard." ( - Ashley Jensen, don't know who she is but she's cute) OK, I like that. Don't worry, I don't want to watch Die Hard anyway, but don't expect me to watch Steel Magnolias or It's Complicated.

  • "When we ask which outfit we should wear, humor us with an answer — just pick one already! — but expect us to go with the one you didn't choose." ( - Carmen Electra, of course I know Carmen Electra) At least she's honest.
  • "Otis Redding said it perfectly: Try a little tenderness." ( - Maria Bartiromo, no idea) Uncle Otis said that?

  • "Sometimes we think we really understand men. Then we regain consciousness." ( - Sela Ward, I love Sela Ward) Yeah, she understands that ya'll are as confused about us as we are about ya'll.
  • "When you break up with us, that means it's over, and we will only sleep with you two or three more times." ( - Jane Krakowski, apparently a Hollywood trollop) No further comment required.

Just 27 things? Hell, how about INFINITY things?

The best quote on the Venus/Mars issue I ever read was on a Waylon Jennings album cover. It was very concise: A man who understands women - is one!

In semi-seriousness, I think men and women are more alike than different. Women are wired differently, which can be really frustrating, but you're also plumbed differently, which is a really good thing...

Edit: Yeah, it didn't escape my consciousness that the above post, with the bulleted items and all, looked kinda like a list.


Leslie said...

A Christian who uses the phrase "celebritard bimbos". That's not sarcasm. That is a "lack of thought and civility in modern society".

The Donald said...


But seemingly applicable to many of the subjects at hand, wouldn't you say?