Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Ripped [off] From the Headlines


Because your day's just not complete until you know what The Donald has to say about today's top stories, is it?

Perusing the teletype today, the editors at S116 direct the Dear Reader to the following:
  • A researcher at the University of Central Missouri, Curtis Cooper, has found the longest known prime number, at 17,425,170 digits - surpassing a 2008 record by some 4.5 million digits.
  • Coincidentally, I spent quite a bit of last week looking for that prime number also.  (I thought maybe it was in my garage - who knows?  Heck, it's possible Jimmy Hoffa's out there.)
Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: ORGANIZED PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO LAZY TO LOOK FOR THINGS T-SHIRT (WHITE INK)
  • Guess ya gotta know where to look.
  • I'm no mathemagician, but I had a 750 Math SAT - about a hundred years ago.
  • Recently, I've been reading Yahoo news on my phone at night, before I fall asleep.  They feature comments after each story.
  • The Yahoo commenters manage to achieve the seemingly impossible: They make the Circus Blog commenters look intelligent.
  • I interrupted my brilliant news analysis to watch the SOTU.  Ron Kirk seemed to be featured prominently at the entrance to the chamber, and Stuart Smalley was shown frequently (at least on ABC's coverage).  
  • I never did see Ted (Cruz or Nugent).  
  • A coworker whose wireless telegraph picks up the Facebook - we'll call her Reporter #1 - received word via that channel that a former co-worker of ours who had stopped at a Southlake park to answer the call of nature got a rude surprise today.
  • Seems he was sequestered within the claustrophobe zone, when he heard footsteps and someone started rattling on his stall door.
  • At first fearing it might be Senator Larry Craig, his apprehension intensified when the new arrival pointed a gun from under the stall wall and ordered him to "Come out, you *so and so*!"
  • Seems some enthusiastic members of Southlake's finest thought they had cornered the Florida escapee convict. 
  • All's well that ends well, one supposes.
  • I received a Pony Express dispatch this evening from my town's Marshal service, advising residents to be cautious after dark, as said bad dude has not yet been located.
  • I reckon I'll be fine, thanks:

  • A friend informs me that iTunes is having a sale on Classic Rock albums.  What I don't understand is how they get the vinyl to come through the wires.
  • But, hey - I'm just a cave man
  • The Texas Legislature is again considering an open carry option for CHL holders. While many prefer not to carry openly, I think it would be nice to have the option, and would mitigate the burden of full concealment that now exists.
  • Plus, I can't say that sometime, somewhere, I might not be tempted, just once, to strap on the ol' hogleg and ammo belt, and spurs and stuff.  Just because.
  • The ozone hole has shrunken to a record low.
  • I had planned to look for it this next weekend.
  • I was watching one of the UHF station's news/commentary earlier this evening, featuring Tracy, Troy, and Jeff Brady. I forget which station has hired Jane McGarry.
  • Word reaches the editorial desk that Todd the Dog Blogger Pastor is considering running for Pope.
  • I would support that - I think it would be an historic event to have a Baptist Pontiff.
  • And the beanie would also help keep his head warm in the winter months. I don't recommend wearing the pointy hat dove hunting, though.
  • There's a kind of fun travelogue with Billy Connolly about Route 66 that was on KERA last night:
  • Does anyone besides me remember the local TV news with Ray Walker and Judy Jordan?
  • Possibly this story² has circulated in this area previously, but I missed it: A father in Alvin, near Houston, allegedly shoots drunk driver who killed his two sons.  The father has apparently been indicted for murder.
  • I think, though, this could be a deterrent to drunk driving.
  • Probably wouldn't be too popular with drunk driving defense lawyers.
  • Oh, and my Verbal SAT was 670, in case you were wondering.
  • A colleague at work, who doesn't hunt, was gifted with some venison sausage, professionally processed.  He accepted it, not wanting to offend the giver, but asked me if I would like it, as he says he's not comfortable with eating deer meat.
  • Hey, I got no problem with that...

¹ h/t to the memory of Phil Hartman's Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
² h/t from Lagniappe's Lair


2 comments:

todd said...

Vote for me for Pope because Jesus loves Rednecks too.

The Donald said...

I'll check the box on my income tax return for $3 to go to the "Todd for Pope" Election Fund.