Ted for Veep?

Even though another round of  'Condi for VP' rumors have made their way around the talking head circuit, it appears the former NSA and SecState is resolutely uninterested in the job.  Which is probably a shame, because she is better qualified for the job than the current incumbent and his boss, in addition to the last 12 months' worth of Republican wannabe challengers.  And she'd doubtless bring some much needed energy and excitement to the R ticket.

But, as my folks taught me, "if a lady says 'no', it means 'no'".  Although, in politics, this may not be strictly true.

So, assuming she truly has no interest in the #2 position, may I boldly suggest...Ted Nugent!

Given that Mittens, for as much as he seems to project a strong manager image, doesn't exactly excite much of the Republican base, it could really give some testosterone to the ticket.  Sidebar: You'd think that after 3-1/2 years of høpe & change in our wallets, 401-Ks, and balance sheets, that even Dan Quayle could take the WH back, in a cakewalk.

But politics is a funny animal.




Which is exactly why we need some raw, animalistic, unfiltered, undiluted, unfettered, peel-the-paint-off-your-walls, get-it-from-the-mainline, rock-n-roll double gonzo wango tango power to jolt this campaign into high gear. 'Cause, folks, if we screw this one up like 2008, our country's toast.

No, I don't think YMCA is on his set-list.

As I see it, Mittens could exude a slightly more charismatic than I Robot persona, managing all the minutiae - most of the wonk stuff. But for pesky hotspots, like Kim Jong Ding Dong pretending he's going to launch the biggest, baddest Estes rocket at the U.S. west coast, or Mahmoud Imanutjob promising for the 1473rd time to annihilate Israel, or President Assad chasing his own people around with flamethrowers and helo gunships - well, wouldn't it be nice if our new POTUS could politely pick up the red phone, dial up the dictator du jour, and say "Hey, I understand you're probably a really swell guy - I'd like to invite you and Mrs. Dictator to join Ann and me to watch the yacht races at Newport, maybe a pickup badminton game with the boys afterward. But we seem to have some troubling policy differences, so to smooth things over, I'm sending Vice-President Nugent first thing in the morning to visit with you."

Instead of a spare 707 or 737 or 757, VP Nugent's AF-2 would be an AC-130, escorted by F-22 Raptors, and filled with Gibsons and Marshall stacks, and not a few of Uncle Ted's Marine friends and their toys. Before landing, they'd make a couple low passes over the host country's presidential palace or mosque-a-rama or whatever, playing some Cat Scratch Fever for for psyops effect. Instead of the MCM walking down the stairs in a suit, he'd roll out the back ramp in his zebra-painted Bronco, do a couple donuts on the tarmac, and screech to a stop just inches away from the host dignitaries.



"Hi, I'm Ted Nugent.  Whaddya say we talk about some peace, love, and understanding?"